SECRET LIFE OF A GREEK

Why I Love My Panhellenic Community

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 13:52:07 -0500

Why do I love my Panhellenic community? Well a question like that is one that comes with multiple answers. When sitting down to think about this prompt I thought to myself “what don’t I love about my community of sisters?” and to that there is only one answer… “Nothing”

Joining Alpha Delta Pi as a second semester first-year, I didn’t really have a grasp on the Greek community, I assumed that all sororities must be in competition with each other, that there must be rivalries, alliances, sneaky tactics to bring others down. Needless to say, I was completely wrong. As I progressed through the semesters as an ADPi, I started to mature in my notions of a community and began to open my mind as well as let down my guard. But I have to say, that it was not until I enrolled in Kim’s Greek Leadership class and especially after being a Rho Gamma that I really started to see the similarities between my own chapter and, you bet, everyone else.

Now I’ve pondered to myself from time to time, “Becky, what are you looking for in a friend, a family member even.”? Someone who cares about the same things that you do, who is mature, who has similar values, and overall someone who you can share an everlasting bond with and of course unconditional love. This is exactly what I have found in so many of my sisters, across all chapters. The level of care and this compassion that this Greek community has for its fellow members, the university as a whole, and the Greater Burlington community is unreal.

As a Greek Community, we often have discussions based around ritual, and living it everyday. Although living one’s values is such a vital part of being a fraternal man or woman, the ways in which my pahellenic family has both supported me, allowed me to be myself, and stood by me through thick and thin are what’s most important to me.

To really hone in on the support I’ve gotten from my sisters, I want to take a journey back to last Thursday. It was the middle of Panhellenic Spirit week, and everyone was as Alpha Delta Pi making Valentines Day cards. Around 5pm, I was informed that my good friend from Champlain College had unexpectedly passed away. As I sat through a three hour class immediately after the news broke, a sister from another chapter who I was sitting next to was constantly making sure I was ok, offering me a ride to wherever I needed to go. At the end of class, she graciously dropped my off at Alpha Delta Pi. As I walked in almost collapsing from my overwhelmed emotions, a sister from every single chapter on this campus immediately rose and surrounded my with affection and consoling hugs. I literally felt overwhelmed with love and at the same time, calm and safe. Throughout the days that followed, I received texts and phone calls from several sisters just to let me know that they were here for me and that if I needed anything I could always call.

As I approach graduation, I will always look back and remember the times, good and bad that I have had as a member of this UVM Fraternity and Sorority life. But something that will always remain constant in my memory is the bond we share as a Panhellenic community, the strength we endure, the support we have given and received from each other, and moreover the friendship and love that will truly last a lifetime.

Finally, in the words of Taylor Swift

Long live the walls we crashed through

All the kingdom lights shined just for me and you

I was screaming long live all the magic we made

And bring on all the pretenders

I’m not afraid

Long live all the mountains we moved

I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you

LOVIES

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 13:51:03 -0500

Congratulations to all of our chapters! We should ALL be proud of ourselves for our accomplishments. Tonight was a wonderful example of how wonderful we are and how far we’ve come. I couldn’t be prouder of us, love to all of my brothers and sisters!

Recruit Smart!

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 10:52:29 -0500

The most important thing that I have learned over the past few years is to recruit great leaders, not necessarily great friends. Yes, you may want your friends to become your sisters or brothers, but do they truly fit into your organization? Do they party hard or spend time in the library on the weekends? Are they more interested in acting stupid or would they be willing to get up at 8 AM on a Saturday and do volunteer work? What would happen if their actions were to reflect poorly on your organization?

We need to be sure to recruit members this semester who truly understand our values and who we can help become great leaders for our organization. Friendship can come later, building from shared ritual and respect. Some of my favorite people in my organization are those that I had never met before recruitment, but the second I met them I knew that they would do great things. They have the respect of our organization because they stand by their morals and exhibit great leadership qualities. I consider them great friends and even better people.

Remember that leadership doesn’t necessarily have to come with a position, but that you lead by example.

UVM Greek Life

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 11:44:18 -0500

My support system. My motivation to do better. My family.

"Individually Unique, Together Complete"

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 12:08:51 -0500

“Individually Unique,
Together Complete”

Please keep this going

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 11:46:35 -0500

Coming back to school has been a most unusual experience this semester. Given how thing left off, it isn’t that surprising. I find that it has been hard to avoid the topic as the issue was so widespread. At times I worry to the point where my heart is racing. While I recognize that much of the anxiety is of my own creation, I cannot seem to let this go. The truth is, this affected all of us and I am sorry for that. We are focusing our efforts on bringing our organization back UVM as soon as possible.

As someone very personally affected, I ask you to keep this thread going. I have been greatly inspired by every single post and have learned more about our community than ever. We all have something to learn from this experience and I believe that we will all be made better for having gone through it. I can not express my appreciation enough for the love and support I have received since returning to Burlington. I wish all UVM Greek organizations the best of luck with recruitment this semester. 175 years doesn’t count for nothing. May your values shine through.

Spirit Week

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 11:45:28 -0500

This week we celebrate the largest women’s undergrad organization at UVM, and all the amazing things that they accomplish each and everyday. But we should also remember to celebrate the men of our IFC community that help us accomplish these things. To the men that came to Kristin’s Story, to the men painting their nails pink for Breast Cancer Awareness, to the men that have Dodged for Domestic Violence. We thank, and celebrate you too. Cheers!

Happy Holidays

Sun, 25 Dec 2011 12:43:00 -0500

I’m so thankful for my Greek community, which is more like a big family, at UVM. Happy holidays to all my brothers and sisters!

Sisterhood Does Not End

Sat, 24 Dec 2011 12:10:54 -0500

I just got a Christmas card from a senior that graduated last year. Obviously sisterhood does not end after college.

Toast to Vermont Gamma

Tue, 20 Dec 2011 23:01:12 -0500

We love you men.

"Brotherhood Will Follow You"

Tue, 20 Dec 2011 20:06:35 -0500

“Brotherhood Will Follow You”

My Closing Thoughts

Sun, 18 Dec 2011 17:24:32 -0500

I would like to first start by thanking the greek community for all the support over the past week. It has been YOUR support that has truly helped my brothers and I through one of the hardest weeks of our lives. When it felt like the entire nation was against us, you all reassured us that regardless of the outcome we would still be accepted in your community.

They can take away all the material aspects of my past fraternity, however they can never take away the brotherly bonds that have developed. Through the best and worst times we will still continue to grow as a collective group of individuals and have a positive impact on our community. Never take anything for granted; it can be gone before you realize what you even had. VDBL

Thank You, Brothers of Sigma Phi Epsilon.

Sat, 17 Dec 2011 22:10:26 -0500

My freshman year, I had a huge paper that I procrastinated until the night before it was due. UVM internet stopped working that night, and I was terrified I was going to fail. The SigEps told me to come to their fraternity house, where they let me use their internet in a quiet space. Some of the brothers even came in from time to time to see if they could help me with the assignment/ask if I needed anything. I hardly knew them, but their hospitality and kindness is something that really stood out to me. I’ve experienced that same hospitality and kindness on a number of occasions. Thank you, brothers of Sigma Phi Epsilon- My time at UVM would not be the the same without you.

A Beautiful Mess

Sat, 17 Dec 2011 19:40:30 -0500

When I was 10, my great grandmother passed away. It was the first time I experienced death. After the funeral most of my extended family got together to share stories about her life. I learned more about my great grandmother on that day than in my entire life combined. I met more family members than I ever knew I had. Upon reflection, my grandfather, her loving son, said to us all, how beautiful would it be if we had gatherings like this when we were still alive so that we could see how many lives we touched. He taught me that we must appreciate life for how beautiful it is, before we miss the chance.

Over the past few days, this blog has been the one things keeping me going. It has become a beautiful example of just how much UVM Greeks appreciate the life they are living. It demonstrates the difference values based living and random acts of kindness can make. My life led me to Sigma Phi Epsilon’s door, and the rest as they say, is history. I’ve experience both the highest of highs and lowest of lows during my time at college, but my brothers were always the first one’s at my side. I am the president of Vermont Gamma, and I will always be there for each and every one of you. Through thick and through thin we will remain a family no matter what. Our story is just beginning. VDBL

Sig Ep Gentlemen

Sat, 17 Dec 2011 19:30:32 -0500

One night I mistakenly left my purse in a locked Sig Ep brothers room. Later that night I left without my belongings which consisted of my cell phone, wallet, car keys and house key. The next morning I used a friend’s phone to text another Sig Ep brother to see if he could find someone to unlock the room and grab my belongings. Just 15 minutes later my purse and all of my belongings were HAND delivered to my house. These gentleman went out of their way to look for my purse, to find a key to unlock the brother’s room, and to deliver it back to me. Now that is what I call a gentleman. Thank you Sig Ep brothers. I am honored to call you my friends.

My Story

Sat, 17 Dec 2011 18:22:23 -0500

I am going to tell you my story. When I first came to the University of Vermont I knew that I wanted to join Greek life from the beginning because my older sister had spoken so highly of it to me. When fall recruitment 2010 came along for sororities I attended and joined the best fit chapter for me. I think this has been one of the best decisions I have made in college; I will always benefit from it and will always stand behind it. My sorority sisters are more than just acquaintances or people I pass by on campus. They’re family and I know that I can count on each and every one of them to be there for me. That is truly what a Greek community is. My letters make me a better person than who I used to be. Without my chapter I wouldn’t be the person I am now. In addition to this I wouldn’t have the Greek family that I have now that motivates me every day to do more, to be more, to work hard, and to conquer college. I’ve only been in my chapter for three semesters and I can honestly say that I can’t imagine college without them.

Now I want to continue on to tell you all my knowledge of the Sigma Phi Epsilon, Vermont Gamma chapter on this campus. Before I came to college I knew a little bit about them and what they were like because of how close my sister was with this chapter. The first time I met SigEps I knew I wanted to be their friend, family, and sister. To be honest they are the most sincere and respectable group of men I have ever met and nothing can take that fact away no matter what anyone says. Some of my best friends were in SigEp. They respect me more than any other men in my life. Every time I walked into their fraternity home I felt the safest I have ever felt in college. These men have always been there for me in every situation and make me feel at home and at ease. Not only do they make me feel the most comfortable, but they also push me to grow as a woman and a member in this society. In just one year with being their friend I have learned so much and I thank them for this. I have come to find in my time in the Greek community at UVM that SigEps were the most fun loving and motivated group of people. I have so many incredible experiences and memories with the brothers and I’m saying this from my heart. They’re my best friends and family and this is forever lasting. Greek life is what gave me this special opportunity and connection that is forever. They say “from the outside you’ll never understand…from the inside you can’t explain it…”. I love you all so much. Never forget that people believe in you. Be sure to believe in yourself.

—Much love,

A fully supportive and dedicated member in the Greek community at UVM

I Joined Greek Life to Become a Part of Something Bigger Than Myself

Sat, 17 Dec 2011 18:21:38 -0500

This common saying is thrown around in Greek community but until last night I haven’t realized how much this means. Being in a Greek chapter isn’t just being apart of your own chapter locally or nationally but you now represent all the culture of Greek Life throughout the country. I have seen a wrong choice of word of one individual turn into national news in a matter a days. When we join our chapters we do not understand the severity of these responsibilities. Is it fair? Maybe not but this is what we all pledge, to be held to the highest of standards. Yes, if any other undergraduate student group had a similar issue arise it would probably be addressed then swept under the rug. But we are fraternity men and sorority women. We are watched and scrutinized under a microscope and called out on our faults. But isn’t that a part of why we have become the amazing leaders and role models in our community. I URGE everyone who wears their letters proud across their chest to know the responsibility that you hold as an individual. Know that your actions and decisions not only affect your chapter or your campus but to every individual who is or has been in Greek Life throughout this nation. Yes the media and stereotype hype up the worst of our community but the stereotypes don’t just appear out of nowhere. We NEED to prove through our ACTIONS how amazing our community actually is.

I Love Being Greek

Sat, 17 Dec 2011 18:20:45 -0500

I love my organization. There is nothing that could replace ADPi in my life and there is no reason I would ever consider cancelling my membership. I am not going to go as far to say that it makes me the person that I am, because I think I was a pretty productive, outspoken, and successful woman before I joined ADPi. I have made it through some really tough things. I wake up every morning in pain and go to sleep every night in more pain. I am not hopeless but I don’t have a happy-go-lucky easy care-free life, even though it probably seems that way from the outside. I am the person I am because of the triumphs, but also because of the amazing memories and experiences I have had. A lot of the time I have spent trying to get through day-to-day struggles, I have not had very many people to act as a support system. I got through without it, but I was very lonely as a teenager. I had friends and a social life and a boyfriend and got straight A’s. I was a great athlete and had everything anyone would ever want, but that’s because people didn’t know what was going on behind closed doors. My depression hit an ultimate low when I was 17 in the fall of my senior year of high school. I sought help multiple times, but my OCD overpowers that. Basically, if I am not in control, I freak out. I made it through with the help of some very dear friends, but there were not many of them around and my parents didn’t really understand. My first year of college was even worse and I even had to leave school the spring of my first year, my first semester at UVM. With all of that, I definitely hit a very low point in my life. ADPi has not made me into the human being I am today, my struggles have, but ADPi has given me so much more to be thankful for. ADPi sisters helped pull me out of the terrible depression they didn’t even know I was in. ADPi has given me a support system, new friends, new opportunities, and a new motivation to wake up the next morning. I do not consider my sisters my friends, they are my family. I am lucky enough to go to school close to my actual family, but there is nothing stronger than the sisterhood bond I have made. I have a lot to thank ADPi for, and definitely consider it one of the best decisions I have ever made. Everyone in Greek life has a different reason for joining. Some of their stories are as simple as they thought it would be fun, and some of them are as complicated and deep as you could get, but the bottom line is we all love our organizations. I know that greek life is not for everyone, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t for the people who participate in it. Yes, people cancel their memberships, and they have various reasons for doing so, but just because it didn’t work out for those people doesn’t mean it doesn’t work in general. Greek life does work, but it only works for the people who want to make it part of their life. If you aren’t that person, I completely understand, but you are also not educated about the matter, and obviously have not created the same inseperable bond I, or and of my sisters or any greek life affiliate has, so you have no place to judge me. There is a reason why we are all here. We are not hung by our ankles and beaten in order to join and we are not forced to be here. We are here because we want to be. There are things about every organization that seem like pesky annoyances. There are things that our organization requires us to do that may not be the most fun, but we still do them, because we want to be here. What I get out of ADPi trumps any kind of small task that I am required to do. I know that those things are required to make the organization function smoothly, so I believe in them. At the end of the day, I still feel more comfortable around any ADPi sister than I do any other person in general and I know that the support system I have gained is more important to me than any mandatory event or meeting or fine I have to pay for forgetting an event. My sisters had no idea I was depressed or struggling when they welcomed me with open arms, but they didn’t have to know because it didn’t matter. They didn’t do anything specific but the simple acceptance and love that I had spent so much time longing for was finally there. I was no longer lonely. I didn’t leave Burlington to go home every weekend anymore. I am truly happy. I had not been able to say that since my freshman year in high school, and I am so grateful to be able to now. The fact that I wear letters on my chest does not make me better than you but it also doesn’t make you better than me. I love UVM, I love ADPi, and I love being Greek.

"Time to be Strong and United."

Sat, 17 Dec 2011 12:51:00 -0500

“Time to be Strong and United.”

Acts of Kindness

Sat, 17 Dec 2011 11:36:54 -0500

A few years ago, I was at an event downtown. I decided to stay a little later than the women I went with, so I could hangout with other friends. When it came time for me to leave, I realized had no one to walk home with. One of the brothers of SigEp saw this and offered to get me a cab. I told him I didnt have money and not to worry. He then offered to pay for the cab ride. I again assured him not to worry and it wasnt a long walk. He then told me he would walk me back to make sure I got there safely. He walked me all the way back to campus and made sure I got into my dorm. It is these small and simple acts of kindness that truly represent the members of Sigma Phi Epsilon.